tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6974973086228822492024-03-13T19:17:21.071-04:00Tandem JourneyTandem Journey is my story, my journal, and my journey of grief and widowhood with Jesus.Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-88748788125613560792015-01-04T23:47:00.000-05:002015-01-04T23:59:40.408-05:00FOCUS: My 2015 Word For The Year<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggc68YskKHgf6Otv6w2aCWWprKPEEKlVYcjFEcvC0h0iklZTEWId8Ep5ABoWLQCmR4Cdg2DY8iOE2JAIUgD62FjXXKyuLW9P5m7DWLVlKPRyulLY9l0tu4Q3qOHwPbay_Wtt4rFqLMQVE6/s1600/p.txt.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggc68YskKHgf6Otv6w2aCWWprKPEEKlVYcjFEcvC0h0iklZTEWId8Ep5ABoWLQCmR4Cdg2DY8iOE2JAIUgD62FjXXKyuLW9P5m7DWLVlKPRyulLY9l0tu4Q3qOHwPbay_Wtt4rFqLMQVE6/s1600/p.txt.jpeg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Photo borrowed from: margiewarrell.com/focus-2014</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Since my husband, Buck, passed away nearly six years ago, I have made a commitment to spend more time in pursuit of spiritual growth. I am so thankful for the way God has used my daily devotional time to help me to grow in my relationship with Him. It has also gone a long way in the restoration of my broken heart as I face life as a widow. I never anticipated the intimacy that this discipline would deliver. Never before have I enjoyed such a close and personal connection to my God! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">During these times of communing with Him, I was aware that certain words or themes would repeatedly be evident in my daily time spent with God. Most often this happened through the devotional that I would be reading at the time. Most recently, I have grown very fond of the way the Lord communicates with me through </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jesus Calling by Sarah Young</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. This will be my third year of daily time spent within her pages. Her style of writing is so appealing to me, as she writes in first person, so that it seems that Jesus is speaking directly to me. It is surprising how often the subject matter is exactly what I need to hear, or it confirms something I have had on my mind. I often weep in amazement that the Creator of the universe would fashion such a message that would touch me in such a personal way, as though it was written just for me. This happens all the time!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In years past, these themes included tender messages about trusting Him, not being afraid, about His Light shining in my darkness, His Faithfulness, and my favorite and most recent was the constant reminder that He is always with me... Immanuel... God with us... and that He will never leave or forsake me. These messages of Love were a great encouragement to me and often gave me courage, energy and motivation to face the day ahead. They still do.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Last week, as the year was drawing to a close, I noticed several posts on Facebook about adopting a Word for the New Year. This was recommended in place of New Year resolutions. This concept was appealing and made sense to me. As I contemplated this for myself, the word </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">focus</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> quickly came to mind. I was concerned, though, if this was from the Lord or by my own design. So, as I drifted off in the early hours of New Year’s morning, I asked God to please confirm that this idea was, indeed, from Him. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In mid-morning, I decided to reread the Introduction from </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jesus Calling </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and this sentence jumped off the page. “... somedays I simply sit with Him for a while and write nothing. During these times of </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">focusing</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> on God, I may experience ‘fullness of joy’ in His Presence (Ps 16:11) or I may simply enjoy His gentle company and receive His Peace.” And if that wasn’t unmistakable enough, I also found this in the January 1st entry. “As you </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">focus</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> your thoughts on Me, be aware that I am fully attentive to you. ” This clearly was an answer to my prayer from the wee hours and my emotional response spilled out onto the pages of my journal. How is it that You are mindful of me, oh Lord? I wept in recognition, awe and wonder! </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I look forward to seeing how God will use this word: focus, in my life this year. I have a feeling it will provide opportunities to write about what He is teaching me along the way. I pray that what I learn is beneficial to my readers, too, as I am inspired to use this writing gift to share what God is doing in my life. I would encourage you to ask God for a “word” of your own. I would love to hear about your experiences as well! God bless you and yours in the New Year! Thank you so much for continuing to join me on my Tandem Journey.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/17678852154334714784" target="_blank">FlowerLady Lorraine</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;">Dear Renee' ~ What a GREAT post and I am so glad to read it. It is very encouraging. I've just past the 2nd anniversary of my dear husband's homegoing and I too have become closer to God.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;">My word for the year is 'dependence'. More dependence on Jesus for everything I need.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;">I have Jesus Calling too and it is a wonderful book. A friend gave it to me right after losing my husband and as you say it is just like Jesus is talking right to you.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;">Bless your heart, mind soul and body as you continue to trust in Jesus for all your needs.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;">Love, hugs and prayers ~ FlowerLady</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"> </span></span></div>
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</b>Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-79221837252404054622014-08-01T18:23:00.000-04:002014-08-01T18:23:21.264-04:00"Happy" ~ It's What I Want To Be<b id="docs-internal-guid-29dc3496-937e-7a0a-f924-9f2af866d096" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-29dc3496-937e-7a0a-f924-9f2af866d096" style="font-weight: normal;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">March 25th was my grandson, Justin’s, 18th birthday. I helped him celebrate at The Outback with his parents, siblings and his girlfriend, that pleasant evening. On the drive back to my family’s home on that snowy night, Justin introduced me to a song I never heard before. He showed me Pharrell Williams’ official video for his hit song titled, “Happy” on his i phone. I was entranced as I watched many snippets of everyday people like you and me, do their version of a “happy dance” for the video camera. It made me want to bounce in my seat! But then something very unexpected happened. While the joy-filled music played, a new wave of grief snuck up and pounced on me. The numbness returned and the emptiness felt overwhelming. Tears spilled and splashed silently on my lap. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Fast forward four months to today. It is my birthday and I’m feeling anything but happy right now. My handkerchief is soggy and tear-stained. I’m wondering if maybe I should pull out my towel. I should be used to this. It’s been brewing for five days, now. I continue to hate the impact that the calendar has on me. On this, my birthday, what I feel most intensely is the emptiness, again. Guilt also makes up a significant piece of this emotion-filled pie. Guilt, because I have so much to be thankful for. My family and friends: all those I consider my loved ones, have been so wonderful over the past five plus years. But they can’t fill this empty place... this void that my Buck’s home-going created in my heart. Only the Lord can accomplish that. It’s been a good while since I had a good cry like the one I experienced a few minutes ago. I know it is good for me to let it go and get it out, but I hate it just the same! I’m praying that writing will be therapeutic as it often is, and I’ll be able to move on, away from this dark, familiar and uncomfortable place. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We all know that happiness means something very unique to each of us. We are all so different as we traverse our individual journeys. Over the past year, I have done a lot of soul searching. Though my introverted personality has been content to accept this season of aloneness, I know that God planted a seed of desire, inspiring me to consider opening my heart again. Frankly, I liked it much better the way it was before. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This afternoon, a florist truck drove by very slowly. About 10 minutes later, I saw the driver stop and park in front of my house. I knew she was having difficulty, so I walked outside to see if I could help. She had a gorgeous lily and roses bouquet in her arms. It wasn’t for me, of course. I knew that when I walked outside, but the reality and the reminder that I don’t have a sweetheart anymore punched me in the face again and I’ve been bleeding all afternoon. I don’t need or want flowers really. It’s just what they represent that is tearing me apart, today. I took the hit with a smile on my face for the driver’s sake. Of course I would be happy to keep them for my lovely young neighbor, for whom the beautiful token of affection was intended for. The driver handed me a card that is good for a free rose, in appreciation for my willingness to help deliver the flowers. So, I guess I could say I got a flower from heaven, today. It just wasn’t delivered to my door and I will need to remember to pick it up someday and not lose the card in the meantime. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Choosing joy over brokenness always requires intentionality. It’s hard to move past it, but I don’t want to get stuck here. There’s nothing joyful about a pity party. Time to change my attitude and count my blessings. Although everyone knows that blue is my favorite color, a blue mood is not what I want for today or any other day for that matter. I guess I needed to go through this process again, so I would remember what I need to do; and encourage you to do the same , if maybe you are also having a less than desirable day of your own. As I count my boatload of blessings, I’ll play Pharrell’s “Happy” song as background music. Certainly, I have so much to be happy about! I’m including it here for all of you. This song has been known to lift my spirits when I’m down and make me dance around my house. I love that! I pray it has that same effect again, today. Who knows; maybe I’ll bake a birthday cake while I’m dancing around the kitchen! It will be chocolate, of course! Chocolate makes everything better. It’s among this woman’s very favorite blessings! Thank You, Lord! I’m starting to feel better already!!! I pray this lively, toe-tapping melody will set all of us free and inspire us to dance!!!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by the sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. Proverbs 15:13 (King James Version)</span></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-29dc3496-937e-7a0a-f924-9f2af866d096" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-88568058669306010282014-06-16T14:20:00.000-04:002014-06-16T14:20:49.134-04:00Wipers And A Wimpy Belt<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Posted Oct 15, 2010 ~ A story about God's faithfulness and my first mowing season as a widow</span></h3>
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A couple weeks ago, I had an interesting day, mechanically
speaking. I was very dismayed that after about eight loops around
my front yard, the cutting blades did not engage when I pulled out
the PTO lever on my lawn tractor. I groaned inside, as anything
going wrong with the lawn tractor always meant having to ask for
help from my neighbor or a dear friend who lived an hour or more
away. After turning off the engine, I lowered the cutting deck to
its lowest position and stared at the wimpy belt. The thought ran
through my mind: The Lord and I can fix this.</div>
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So with God’s guidance, we did just that! I was elated and
thanked the Lord and got back to work until the belt jumped off
again after another 15 minutes or so; only this time there was a
spring laying on the deck, unattached. I figured out where it
belonged, reinstalled the belt and started off again. Feeling a
little less prideful, I fixed it again and again until after the
fourth time, it dawned on me that I needed to look for the reason
this was happening. Guess I’m a little slow in the cause and effect
dept. I then realized there was a loose pulley that was allowing play in the belt.<br />
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So, now the hunt was on. Finding Buck’s
ratchet set and trying to decipher the right socket was not easy.
Figuring out how to use them with an extension and pair of pliers
to hold the nut under the tractor was pretty tricky too,
considering I have never used a ratchet before. And what would I do
without “Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosy”! I waited until last week,
when I needed to mow again, to find out if my efforts were
successful. It was so wonderful to mow the lawn without
interruption! We did it, Lord! Yay God!!!<br />
<br />
I felt encouraged by my tractor experience, so I jumped into
another little project I thought I would probably need assistance
with. In preparation for selling Buck’s car soon, I purchased some
replacement windshield wipers. It took me awhile, but I finally got
them installed. I was thrilled that they didn’t go flying across
the garage, the first time I tried them out!<br />
<br />
Little by little, I’m learning to be more God sufficient and I’m
so thankful that He is helping me with this unfamiliar territory.
His Word says: You have not because you ask not. I've been asking
more and He has been a very patient teacher. It also says: “The
Lord sustains the fatherless and the widow…Psalm 146:9. I know
first hand that this is truth, as His Faithfulness continues in so
many areas of my life. How thankful I am that He knows each of us
as individuals and He cares about all that is going on in our
lives. He consistently makes me aware of His presence. How very
blessed I am as we journey on together!</div>
Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-55312024508624399082013-12-13T12:33:00.000-05:002013-12-13T12:33:33.660-05:00Finishing Well ~ A Tribute To My Friend<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5DUFDZlbwlNhNzsfSh22um463mnW3I7yV46sfcJqLOAidyc7TveYCq0fpMrrxC5atG01aEQX6mkdkyp6-HOto1OqW8LA6VFgWr-w1T4Ym9jwLTz3BVra-bXxk-nLj01OdNFUtSr_GxQ1t/s1600/IMG_1507.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5DUFDZlbwlNhNzsfSh22um463mnW3I7yV46sfcJqLOAidyc7TveYCq0fpMrrxC5atG01aEQX6mkdkyp6-HOto1OqW8LA6VFgWr-w1T4Ym9jwLTz3BVra-bXxk-nLj01OdNFUtSr_GxQ1t/s640/IMG_1507.JPG" width="532" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>A painting I did for my friend, Ed, titled "Finishing Well"</i></b><br />
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Today will be an extra difficult day for the Geinendaffer family and all his friends and loved ones who knew this precious man and remember this day as the first anniversary of Ed's home-going. What a blessing he was to all of our lives. I visited his Facebook page this week and had a good cry as I recalled all that his friendship meant to me.<br />
<br />
This time last year, I wrote a post about a painting that I did for Ed and his family. For some reason, I didn't publish it back then. I don't know why. I thought that today, on the first anniversary of his passing, would be a fitting time to share what the Lord inspired me to paint and write. Just my way of reaching out and sharing how much I miss my friend.<br />
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Although I tried to prepare myself for the reality of the news, the weight of the Facebook message hit me like an unexpected ocean wave. That night in mid-December, Ed, one of my dearest of friends, passed from this life into the beginning of the very best part of his life for the rest of eternity. Cancer robbed him of the years he had hoped to spend with his loved ones and friends, but it provided a bridge to the beginning of his new face to face life with his Savior. I am so happy for him, but my heart is broken for his family as they deal with the pain of their loss. My friend's absence will leave a great void in my life as well, as Ed was truly one of the best friends I ever had! <br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-699bd59d-eca5-9538-ebd5-bb4ad528797a" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-699bd59d-eca5-9538-ebd5-bb4ad528797a" style="font-weight: normal;"><div dir="ltr" style="display: inline !important; line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Edwin J. Geisendaffer Sr. was a man with a servant's heart, who lived to serve and help others. I was a recipient of his loyal friendship and faithful kindness many times during the 15 years that I knew him.</span></div>
</b><b id="docs-internal-guid-699bd59d-eca5-9538-ebd5-bb4ad528797a" style="font-weight: normal;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-699bd59d-eca5-9538-ebd5-bb4ad528797a" style="font-weight: normal;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-699bd59d-eca5-9538-ebd5-bb4ad528797a" style="font-weight: normal;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-699bd59d-eca5-9538-ebd5-bb4ad528797a" style="font-weight: normal;"><div style="display: inline !important;">
<b id="internal-source-marker_0.4938568545039743" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFJU_yc_mnIWZ4y1TKLVz5Z-To4-q-x4mVS3gGRToOBsFGrzoT4Ltgd5Y9eh8fegeRZxsgT786LHmPxCg-fuNW12m-g383mtGW1BARb-rt3fxxYiMvegwO7kS9lvAmbypwRxxFEh9DwDol/s1600/27735_IMG_3271_display.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFJU_yc_mnIWZ4y1TKLVz5Z-To4-q-x4mVS3gGRToOBsFGrzoT4Ltgd5Y9eh8fegeRZxsgT786LHmPxCg-fuNW12m-g383mtGW1BARb-rt3fxxYiMvegwO7kS9lvAmbypwRxxFEh9DwDol/s640/27735_IMG_3271_display.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My buddy, doing what he did the best: finishing my garage and serving the people he cared about. Always with a smile on his face.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8C99LFgr60BeK-TLFKmcYJD3IEQeGguzBtGPScSHTEpcf9KILTnMoy0-cYznzfHWgochVjaBBhMmZKvwiCWolMEuvMn7PBjN1onwM_js8kg_d012g90TkoZzf5fGJFpEKV79JnKrZ6JFh/s1600/33632_Facebook_Pictures_010_display.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8C99LFgr60BeK-TLFKmcYJD3IEQeGguzBtGPScSHTEpcf9KILTnMoy0-cYznzfHWgochVjaBBhMmZKvwiCWolMEuvMn7PBjN1onwM_js8kg_d012g90TkoZzf5fGJFpEKV79JnKrZ6JFh/s640/33632_Facebook_Pictures_010_display.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A sample of Ed's ingenuity, when my lawn tractor's belt was broken. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; white-space: normal;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-699bd59d-eca5-9538-ebd5-bb4ad528797a" style="font-weight: normal;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-699bd59d-eca5-9538-ebd5-bb4ad528797a" style="font-weight: normal;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-699bd59d-eca5-9538-ebd5-bb4ad528797a" style="font-weight: normal;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-699bd59d-eca5-9538-ebd5-bb4ad528797a" style="font-weight: normal;"><div style="display: inline !important;">
<b id="internal-source-marker_0.4938568545039743" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">During the month of November, the theme at my church’s art group was: “It's Better To Give Than To Receive”. </span></b><b id="internal-source-marker_0.4938568545039743" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In keeping with her theme, </span></b><b id="internal-source-marker_0.4938568545039743" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">deAnn, </span></b><b id="internal-source-marker_0.4938568545039743" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">the art director</span></b><b id="internal-source-marker_0.4938568545039743" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span></b><b id="internal-source-marker_0.4938568545039743" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">encouraged us to use our creativity to create a gift for someone, asking the Lord whom we could bless with our artistic efforts. Ed came to my mind immediately, and I asked the Lord for inspiration.</span></b></div>
</b></b></b></b></span></div>
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</b></b></b></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; white-space: normal;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.4938568545039743" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I visited Ed a few weeks before he was called home, I asked his wife, Bobbie, if Ed liked any particular kind of artwork. After a few moments, she said that the only thing she could think of was that he was attracted to artwork that depicted action sports, and instantly, an idea was born. </span></b></span></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.4938568545039743" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Immediately, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I had a vision of a runner crossing the finishing line. It seemed so fitting since Ed had been a marathon runner for many years, and I’m sure he had crossed countless finish lines, as he participated in competitive races. But the symbolism behind this painting goes a great deal deeper, as I see it as a representation of his life. I view it as a depiction of his personal race of life, so well run: spending so much of himself in serving others in innumerable ways. As I look around my home, I see many examples of his passion to help others and I was a recipient of his servant's heart on many occasions. </span></b></div>
<div>
<b id="internal-source-marker_0.4938568545039743" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; white-space: normal;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-699bd59d-eca5-9538-ebd5-bb4ad528797a" style="font-weight: normal;"></b></span></span></span></b><br />
<b id="internal-source-marker_0.4938568545039743" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-699bd59d-eca5-9538-ebd5-bb4ad528797a" style="font-weight: normal;"><div dir="ltr" style="display: inline !important; line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sadly, he is running away from us, as he crosses the bridge carrying him into his new life, but what Joy for him. More importantly, he is running toward the sun, or The Son, symbolic to portray the “Light of the World,” as he crosses his finish line. </span></div>
</b></span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.4938568545039743" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On that glorious day, he got to experience our Lord, face to face, and was reunited with his loved ones and friends who had gone before him. I 'm sure my sweetheart, Buck, was among that group to welcome his buddy home. When I delivered my painting to Ed on his deathbed, I asked him to give Buck a big hug for me. What a sweet reunion it must have been! I have no doubt that Ed heard the voice of the Lord say: “Well done, good and faithful servant”.</span></b><br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-699bd59d-eca5-9538-ebd5-bb4ad528797a" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-699bd59d-eca5-9538-ebd5-bb4ad528797a" style="font-weight: normal;"><div dir="ltr" style="display: inline !important; line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will miss you, Ed, but I know I will see you again, and look forward to seeing your smiling face on that glorious day, right after I get that first hug from your buddy, Buck!</span></div>
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Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-5228115987221444202013-10-22T13:54:00.000-04:002014-02-12T18:46:09.439-05:00From My Father's Heart ~ The Difference A Few Moments In Time Can Make<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLTMXs9hfwp-ZCArvl_jwzkwHyrP8eBFp0i8PdGDHBG3DDlAfdFay0wKwEex-cYHN2u-y_JGuxAhKib7VXOI1Tit2uLKuHvxlmZPYFSanmKkai5R0byEYEBlmrQnmDO8G6m6EHJ9gtZasd/s1600/IMG_2647.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLTMXs9hfwp-ZCArvl_jwzkwHyrP8eBFp0i8PdGDHBG3DDlAfdFay0wKwEex-cYHN2u-y_JGuxAhKib7VXOI1Tit2uLKuHvxlmZPYFSanmKkai5R0byEYEBlmrQnmDO8G6m6EHJ9gtZasd/s400/IMG_2647.JPG" height="321" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Sometimes, we get to enjoy little miracles fashioned just for us!</i></b></td></tr>
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A few days ago was one of those significant days that usually conjures an emotional response. Another anniversary, this would have been our 16th. I was pleasantly surprised however, and so thankful for a really good day. It was sunny and warm; bright and breezy enough to encourage me to hang my laundry outside in the sunshine. I baked a loaf of bread that day; and thanks to my dear friend, Pat, I got a nice long walk in as we watched the beautiful full moon rise in the north eastern sky.<br />
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As I reflected on the day, I was thankful that it wasn't a terribly emotional one as anniversaries normally are. This was the best so far and I'm thrilled to look back and see a marked difference compared to years past. I'm thankful for progress. Thank You, Lord, for the blessing of this beautiful autumn day!<br />
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Recently this week, I read a beautiful story about a very special close encounter with a hummingbird. God used this tiny jewel-like creature to begin the restoration process in the heart of a man who had just laid his precious wife to rest. The story made me cry as it brought to mind a very special memory that took place late summer, last year. As I thought about my close encounter, I tried to locate it among my blog posts from last September. As I searched, I realized that my story was still in draft form and I never published it as I thought I had. The story is true and took place on Buck's birthday last year. I know in my heart that God was aware that I was having a difficult day and needed a special moment that would lift my spirits. I'm so thankful to have it in my treasury of special memories. This is what I wrote that day.<br />
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-48a72160-cedd-820a-2fae-2ca532a57c61" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><b id="docs-internal-guid-48a72160-e108-5f2e-03fa-f829e0f7cfb5" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-48a72160-e108-5f2e-03fa-f829e0f7cfb5" style="font-weight: normal;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have made a commitment to do my best not to focus on grief, since the three year anniversary mark of my sweetheart's home-going... both in my writing and in my life in general. But my reality still includes many moments that inspire sadness that I just can't hide or ignore. When you lose someone you love, it's important to acknowledge the grief and loss whenever the moments arrive, so you can move past them and find all the many moments of joy that life still has to offer. </span></div>
<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Significant days still hit hard. Early September delivered one of those days as my husband's birthday came around again. It is my desire to encourage anyone who is dealing with grief or loss, by sharing my story of how the Lord made it clear that He knows when my heart needs a “joy lift”. He blessed me with some unique joy-filled moments this week that proved once again that He loves me and provided some memorable distractions that I will always cherish as gifts from His heart. </span></div>
<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I think it's interesting that these ”gifts” showed up in the same location: my favorite spot on my front porch. The day after my encounter with the praying mantis, as I shared about in a recent post, I was blessed again as I savored the last of summer as I swayed on my glider. I was trying to compose some Haiku poetry, when a hummingbird came to visit the flowering plant next to me. She was only an arms length away! Imagine my surprise when she moved away from the tiny white blossoms and hovered directly in front of me, just about twelve inches from my face! I wondered if she thought my hair was a big white flower as she studied me for about seven glorious seconds! </span></div>
<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This was not the first time I experienced such a delightful encounter, as I was blessed years ago with a similar visit. Only on that occasion, the tiny iridescent bird was drawn to a red design on the front of my tee shirt, as I hung a freshly filled hummingbird feeder. This time I was wearing a dark gray tank top and there were no bright colors or feeders to attract my feathered friend, only a feeder nearly twenty feet away.</span></div>
<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That's why it is so obvious to me that these precious, back to back wildlife encounters were gifts from my Heavenly Father's hand. He knew that Buck and I both loved hummingbirds. And He knows me well enough to know, that such an unexpected surprise would lift my spirits on a day that I was struggling while missing my sweetheart. That precious “gift” made me cry in remembrance, but there were tears of joy mixed in as well, in appreciation for such a wondrous personal touch from my Lord! Those amazing moments turned my day around, and for that, I was so thankful! </span></div>
<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As I basked in the memory of the face to face visitation, I was inspired to commemorate the occasion with a Haiku poem, in thanksgiving for God's gift to me that day.</span></div>
<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Face To Face</span></div>
<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today's best moments</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Close encounter to behold</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hummingbird visit</span></div>
<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Eye level juncture</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Curious observation</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Brought us face to face</span></div>
<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Few moments in time</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Blessed connection with nature</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Freeze frame with splendor</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Magical motion</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">God's glorious creation</span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thank You for the gift</span></b><br />
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</b>Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-89926285641453064942013-08-02T11:34:00.001-04:002013-08-02T11:35:13.447-04:00Birthday Contemplation<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3e3733; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"></span><br />
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Another birthday arrived yesterday: my fifth one as a widow. This one is reminding me that I have enjoyed many years of joys and blessings, as well as challenges and various seasons of sorrow. As the day came to a close, I felt drained, fatigued and somewhat empty.</div>
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While searching for something on my computer, I came across my journal entry that I wrote a week and a half after Buck was called “home”. Reliving my memories of Buck’s last day on earth was very emotional, but equally therapeutic, as once again I faced the reality of releasing my precious man into God’s open and welcoming arms and choosing not to deny the grief that still resides in my heart. Though painful, I know it is a necessary part of the restoration process, even after four plus years.</div>
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I woke to lots of commotion in my otherwise quiet neighborhood. There had been multiple explosions at the township municipal maintenance building just a quarter mile from my home. The building that housed all the maintenance equipment was a total loss as well as all their lawn equipment and the five large dump trucks used for snow removal were all incinerated.</div>
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The community is so thankful that no employees were in the building and no one was hurt in the shocking suddenness of the events of the day. Only a small dump truck, pick-up truck and two tractors that were in use by employees escaped the fire. Sadly, the personal vehicles of the four employees were also lost as they were parked next to the burning building. All that remains are the charred vehicles and machinery, and the sheet metal pieces that were once the roof and exterior walls of the original building.</div>
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After reading my journal entry, I reviewed the events of the day, and strangely saw the ruins as a symbol of how I felt that day: in shock, devastated and destroyed from the inside out, everything surreal with only a thin, vulnerable shell left behind. As all the wooden components of the building were consumed by the flames, only a mangled tangle of metal remained as the shell caved in on itself, leaving behind very little that was recognizable. Somewhat eerie was how the door was left in place, precarious and free standing, with nothing visible to support it.</div>
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In the days and months to come, the debris will be gathered and recycled. The remains will be removed, but the employees will be left numb and reeling as they face the reality of what happened yesterday and how it will affect their lives in the days ahead. They are thankful to be alive, but will be displaced until all the debris is dealt with. New plans will be drawn up, studied, reviewed, revamped and the rebuilding process will begin. They will be hopeful that this won’t take long, but knowing full well, it always takes longer than we ever dreamed it would. And all the while, they will wait in limbo, as they will slowly transition through the uncomfortable process of change.</div>
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Of course, there won’t be grief as in the loss of a loved one, but just the same, I can identify with the wreckage the fire left behind. For me, the free standing door symbolizes the Lørd holding me up: invisible, but supporting me all the while as I made the choice to pursue life, and all the forms of joy that it still has to offer. I miss Buck and life as we knew it, but I know in my heart that though my life continues to change, the new landscape will be good and beautiful.</div>
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I can’t help but wonder what the Lord’s blueprint for my life will look like this coming year, and how it might be different on my next birthday. I am hopeful that it won’t include the emptiness I felt last night as my birthday came to an end. This journey continues to have its ups and downs just like we all experience, but I’m thankful for the numerous joy-filled days that are mine to enjoy along the way.</div>
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Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-66270588372225572712013-07-07T00:20:00.000-04:002014-06-07T22:27:26.723-04:00Belly Laugh<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">Considering all the sorrow that comes with widowhood, and all the hard and painful things we all deal with throughout our lives, it’s needful and healthy to have a good “belly laugh” on occasion. I love it when the Lord gives me a story to tell, and yesterday He gave me one that made me laugh out loud. I still giggle every time I reflect on what happened last night. I hope it will inspire at least a smile for you today.</span><b id="docs-internal-guid-1b33ccf6-b737-a746-6e0e-e316724b305a" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
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<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Last night, I was on my way to Havre de Grace, Md, approximately an hour and fifteen minutes from my home. As I drove out of my neighborhood, I reached into my purse to locate my sunglasses. While giving my full attention to my driving, I popped them onto my face and was on my way. </span></div>
<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was traveling to attend a surprise birthday party for my sister, Colleen. I was a bit anxious that the drive would take longer than anticipated. I hadn’t allowed any margins to deal with the Honeypot truck I was forced to follow at an even slower pace than the already slow speed limit. One of these days, I will learn to leave early. You would think by now I would have learned that lesson, especially since I often encounter Amish buggies on a regular basis. </span></div>
<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My anxiety grew when I arrived in Havre de Grace, and I noticed that the town was overflowing with people. The town was celebrating their “First Friday”, when the first Friday of every month, they close off a main street like a block party, with lots of activities throughout the whole area. Parking is always an issue there on any given day. Now an already challenging situation was going to be a lot more complicated. I drove to the restaurant where the party was to be held and of course there wasn’t any spots available in their parking lot. Silly me and my wishful thinking! </span></div>
<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I started circling the area to see what I could find. I really didn’t mind having to walk two and a half blocks. I was just afraid I would be late and spoil the surprise. I finally found a parking lot where kayakers launch their boats and park their vehicles and trailers while they enjoy the Susquehanna River. I parked in front of a construction fence, because there were no marked spots available. I didn’t see any no parking signs, so I thought it might be okay to park my car there. </span></div>
<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Just as I was leaving my car, I saw a young man carrying his kayak across the parking lot. I asked him his opinion about parking there, just to be sure. He agreed that it should be fine. I thanked him and got back in my car to grab my purse. As I did so, I took a quick glance into my rear view mirror, and I was stunned by what I saw! It was one of those “OH MY GOODNESS” moments that kinda stops your world for a brief instant, and I had to laugh out loud as I stared at my reflection. Part of me wanted to vanish into thin air, but another part of me wanted to run after the young man I had just spoken to, to let him know I wasn’t a lunatic! REALLY!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPaqo8a0esoLiISNWxq3V6vP0jzCA4OY3DXWt3e3QqrbZMLTOK_EeejzrEV1a6tJD6vlHB229zLuSxeB0op0yPeyJS2UEXF4LnZEEEG9fQmg9pLtKWX-Y6yFc16b8yslwfQjALakLw2-Z4/s1600/IMG_2152.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPaqo8a0esoLiISNWxq3V6vP0jzCA4OY3DXWt3e3QqrbZMLTOK_EeejzrEV1a6tJD6vlHB229zLuSxeB0op0yPeyJS2UEXF4LnZEEEG9fQmg9pLtKWX-Y6yFc16b8yslwfQjALakLw2-Z4/s320/IMG_2152.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-1b33ccf6-b737-a746-6e0e-e316724b305a" style="font-weight: normal;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-1b33ccf6-b737-a746-6e0e-e316724b305a" style="font-weight: normal;"><div dir="ltr" style="display: inline !important; line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Laughter is good for us, and I love any occasion to do so! I shared my story at Colleen’s party and everyone had a good laugh on me. It was great fun to show them what I saw in the mirror. I hope my silly story brightened your day and maybe even inspired a good “belly laugh” for you too! And I wish all of you a wonderful summer full of joy, laughter and memory making!</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+17:22&version=NIV" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #651300; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Proverbs 17:22</span></a></div>
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</b>Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-86077136356393449812013-04-21T21:03:00.000-04:002013-04-21T23:17:15.764-04:00Four Years TodayIt was a beautiful sunshiny day, just like today, on that fateful day four years ago. The day that claimed the life of my husband and changed forever the lives of all who loved this man known as Buck. The void is still glaring but I can say the emotions are not so raw and painful as they were in earlier years. I am thankful to be at this juncture of my journey. Still missing my sweetheart as always, but coping better and moving forward as best I can with God's help and the continued love and support of family and friends. I feel sad today as I expected that I would, but not overwhelmingly so, like other significant days. It is getting easier to let go of the painful memories of that day and choose to celebrate what transpired that evening as Buck was welcomed as he crossed the threshold into his glorious new life in heaven!<br />
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A few weeks ago, I had the awesome joy and privilege to attend the baptism of my daughter, Sarah, and son-in-law, Bob! That day was significantly more emotional than today and made me miss my sweetheart in a powerful way. To see and experience the fruit of the many prayers Buck and I had prayed for our children, made for a day filled with emotional extremes: tearfully missing my man and a heart bursting with joyful elation all at the same time! It was a memory packed day I will hold in my heart forever! I like to think Sarah's papa was celebrating along with us in heaven.<br />
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As I take a glance backward over the past four years, I can't believe it has been that long already. I feel sad that I don't have much to show for that large chunk of time, but I am encouraged that I am moving in the right direction: no longer paralyzed by grief. Finally, I'm making progress in tending to some homeowner maintenance issues around my home and slowly enjoying some long-awaited final touches. It is so delightful to have knobs and pulls on all my kitchen and bath cabinetry after all this time! Slowly, but surely, I am moving toward the order my heart craves and taking baby steps to make my house more homey.<br />
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Now that it is spring, my thoughts turn to gardens and how to protect them from the ever-encroaching herds of groundhogs. I flip-flop between furious frustration and dogged determination. Only time will tell if my efforts are fruitful or futile. Between the groundhog, deer and stinkbug populations, I have to be more creative than ever before. I have an idea I want to try in my little homestead wildlife war zone. I hope I'm not being sadistic to pursue my dream to raise my own vegetables in such an unfriendly environment. Selfishly, I am not inclined to share my food with the local critters. I am hopeful that I can post pictures depicting the rewards of my efforts throughout the growing season. God did make us master over all the animals after all. If my sweetheart was still here, I wouldn't have to face this daily competition. He would have taken great delight in "managing" the moochers. I will have to settle for a more creative form of survival. I'm sure YoutTube will provide some inspiration. I like to think that Buck would be proud of his Girfren for giving it my best shot (no pun intended)!Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-79214876111426589922013-02-15T10:12:00.000-05:002013-02-15T10:12:56.722-05:00Letting Go Of My ValentineIt starts right after Christmas. The New Year hasn't even dawned before anticipation of February's big day splashes red everywhere you turn. For six weeks we are bombarded with hearts, balloons, flowers, candy and greeting cards, and you can't get away, not even in the grocery stores. I don't mean to sound bitter; I'm not. It's just a painful time for many single people. But then again, it's probably hard for lots of married folks too, who live with their own variety of heartache.<br />
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I am happy for those who have a sweetheart in their lives. Buck always went out of his way to make the day special for us and it was a joy-filled time to celebrate our love. But now, Valentine's season, like most holidays, is just another in your face reminder of what's missing. There are times throughout the year that I'm more sensitive. As Valentine's Day approaches, Buck's absence is more glaring than ever. It just makes me miss him more than I already do on any other given day. It's just a fact.<br />
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I was pleasantly surprised by how pleasurable my day was yesterday, considering the roller-coaster of emotions that came with this past week. Nearly four years of procrastination hasn't made the task I faced any easier. Closure is painful no matter what! But it also brings a measure of blessings with it. I'm still trying to process that part.<br />
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Last week, one of the gals in my Bible study made an announcement that she and her husband would be collecting clothing, furniture and household products for the many people who were displaced due to a fire caused by arson at The Roadway Inn in York City last week. The Inn was home for many of them, not just overnight accommodations. My friend mentioned that one gentleman only had the clothes on his back. He would be wearing his one pair of jeans to work everyday. She said he only requested a couple pairs of jeans and a sweater, when asked what he needed. When she mentioned his waist and inseam measurement, I knew I had to take action. His jeans size was the same as Buck's. It was gratifying to know that Buck's wardrobe would be filling such an urgent need, but the necessity didn't damper the effect on my heart. I was a mess all week as I laundered, folded and packaged Buck's clothes in preparation for sharing them.<br />
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The hardest part was finding a long sleeved shirt I had gotten for him; it was on a hanger and the sleeves were still rolled up just a bit the way he often wore them. That discovery hit me really hard, but not like the impact of finding his Carhart vest and winter jacket with a note in the pocket in his handwriting. I hugged them like a teddy bear (like he was) and wept bitterly from the basement to the laundry room. The vest and jacket were the most difficult to let go. I could see him in my mind: hands in pockets, boyish grim and sparkling eyes. I am thankful for the days when those memories make me smile, but that was not the case this week. There are still more clothes to deal with, but those will have to wait. I could only take so much.<br />
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I filled the back seat of my car and gave away most of Buck's wardrobe on Wednesday. I broke down again at my Bible study and my friends in my group surrounded me with love, compassion and prayer. I came away feeling drained but better. Now that I have started dealing with this painful task, I will finish up next week, as I have finally decided what to do with the rest. I like to think the remainder will be easier. But I have been wrong before about thinking the worst is over. I am optimistic this time.<br />
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So my Valentine's Day turned out to be a good day, after a hard week. I did spend some time hugging my teddy bear in the morning. It just felt good to squeeze that stout bear named Critter. I spent time soaking in the brightness of my "Happy Light" while I enjoyed my devotional time. I made myself a nice breakfast like I would have prepared for Buck, and gave myself a pedicure and practiced using some new makeup. I enjoyed the snowy view from my dining room and I took a long walk in the cold sunshine. I made a special dinner (and ate it by candlelight) and a cheesecake pie for dessert.<br />
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I sensed the Lord's presence throughout the day. It was as if He was giving me permission to do whatever would make me smile. So I enjoyed a self pampering day without guilt. As I asked God to bless my meal, I thought about and prayed for some precious people in my life, who were facing their first Valentine's Day without their loved ones and the rest who struggle on this day. I thanked Him for the wonderful years I was blessed to have Buck in my life and for the luxury of having such a beautiful, wonderful day full of gifts.<br />
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Now I'm looking forward to spring, but trying to appreciate the season I am in. I also appreciate that you took your time to stop by and check on me. Thank you for caring. I hope you had a pleasant Valentine's Day too.<br />
<br />Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-5551656305530996772013-01-10T19:35:00.000-05:002013-01-10T19:35:34.202-05:00Christmas MiracleMy "Christmas Miracle" entry is a re-post from my first Christmas season without my sweetheart. I published it on my other blog: Christian Widow's Walk, which is my story of widowhood from the beginning. "Christmas Miracle" is one of my favorite stories that shares some of my history, as well as details about one of the best and most precious gifts I have ever received in my entire life! I would love to share my story with you! So, please visit me at <b><i>www.christianwidowswalk.blogspot.com </i></b>if you are interested and curious about my "Christmas Miracle". See you there, my friends. Thanks for stopping by my other location!Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-63464420289953942582013-01-05T13:33:00.000-05:002013-01-05T13:34:29.198-05:00Making Choices To Remember The Good Stuff<b id="internal-source-marker_0.5971188121475279" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s a given that the holidays will be filled with emotional ups and downs. I’ve learned to anticipate and expect the ebb and flow as part of the ongoing journey. I spent my last overnight of my five day stay in my daughter and son-in-law’s home on New Year’s Eve. I was thankful to just stay put and we had a pleasant evening together, playing Headbanz with my grandchildren. This went on for another hour or so after we did the countdown as the ball dropped in Time Square ringing in the New Year.</span></b><br />
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.5971188121475279" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was the last one to head for bed, and in the quiet of the night my mind returned to the wee hours of January 1st, 2009, the night that changed life as we knew it. As I stared at the ceiling, all the details came flooding back and it was a temptation to be consumed with sadness. But this year was different, because instead of focusing on the memory of the emergency, the Lord helped me to choose to remember the best parts of those life-changing hours. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thought about Buck’s question to the Emergency Room doctor. I can still see the excitement on his face as he inquired if there was any chance that he was going to meet Jesus tonight! No fear, just excited anticipation! Of course, I didn’t share his enthusiasm, but I will never, ever forget the Peace I saw in my husband’s eyes as he listened for the doctor’s answer about the seriousness of his condition. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That powerful memory led me to recall the overwhelming Peace I experienced as I rode in the front of the ambulance on that fateful night. That was a gift from God, just for me. It was as if the Lord, Himself, was whispering to my heart: “ It’s okay, I’m here with you, and everything is going to be alright. I will bring good things from this”. Even though the ‘alright’ part delivered a very different outcome than we all anticipated, I can honestly say, the Lord was Faithful in carrying us through those four months of Buck’s traumatic illness and He did indeed, keep His promise in bringing so much good out of such an ugly situation. I can still remember what the Lord’s Presence felt like that night, and the warmth of that precious gift helped me to drift off to sleep easily, instead of facing the pain of my loss again. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thank you, Lord, for helping me to welcome the New Year by recalling your Faithfulness. That Peace that transcends all understanding was mine once again, because of Who You are and the promises You make and keep to those who love you.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #5c1101; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Contemporary English Version (CEV)</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">7 </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><h3 dir="ltr">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #5c1101; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Philippians 4:7</span></h3>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #5c1101; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Message (MSG)</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">6-7 </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In light of writing this entry late last night, I was so awed how the Lord met with me this morning during my devotional reading. The scripture I was led to helped me to remember where Buck’s confidence came from in the early hours of that New Years Day. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2 Corinthians 5:6-8 in The Living Bible version reads: Now we look forward with confidence to our heavenly bodies, realizing that every moment we spend in these earthly bodies is time spent away from our eternal home in heaven with Jesus. We know these things are true by believing, not by seeing. And </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">we are not afraid</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, but are </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">quite content</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> to die, for then we will be at home with the Lord. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Buck and I often talked about our “heaven-bound futures” throughout our years together. Buck always had a twinkle in his eyes whenever the subject came up. I got to see that ‘twinkle’ in it’s full radiance that night and I will always treasure that memory and the Peace and Comfort that it invokes in my heart. I anticipate good things this year. I hope you do too.</span></b></div>
Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-71268200369057167762013-01-03T00:48:00.000-05:002013-01-03T00:48:27.130-05:00Trading Blue For Bright and a Happy Light I wonder how many widows experience situations similar to what happened to me recently? I thought I was doing just fine as I made my way to my dentist appointment: an hour commute from my home. I knew I was feeling weary, but as my dental hygienist greeted me and asked how I was today, I could only squeak out, "I'm okay I guess". As our eyes met, I couldn't hide the realization that I was having a blue day and the tears started to stream down my face. This blue day and my emotional response were totally unexpected as I found myself in this awkward, familiar place again. I felt embarrassed and helpless to be breaking down in public after all this time. I questioned myself: Really... here, in the dentist chair? I apologized to the kind young woman who was serving me. She was warm and compassionate and invited me to talk about what was going on inside of me. I had no explanation and couldn't point to any grief triggers.As she worked, I could still feel the emotions bubbling up and escaping from the corners of my eyes. I still hate the powerless feelings that come over me on occasion like this.<br />
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To be honest, I have observed that I have been more emotional again with the arrival of autumn. Even with my best intentions to fully embrace the fall season this year, I know that the well being I enjoyed this summer is quickly slipping away. I watch helplessly as my will, motivation and energy escape like the extended hours of daylight that disappear with the return of Standard time. Like trying to hold onto a handful of water, I sense the brighter days slipping away into the all too familiar, shadowy place that I thought was a thing of the past.<br />
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I recently decided that it was time to find some new local doctors, instead of having to travel to Maryland whenever I had the need for medical attention. After living in this area for nearly five years, it was time to transition to a more convenient way of dealing with my health needs. While attending my new patient visit with my new family practitioner, I asked his opinion about the possibility that perhaps I might be experiencing the symptoms that come with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): a condition that comes from the lack of sunlight in the fall and winter months. He agreed that SAD was a very real condition that many are sensitive to, and he recommended either the use of anti-depressants or exposure to a very strong light that is supposed to simulate the sunshine that we lack in the cold months. He recommended a particular brand to try, so I opted to invest in what I call my happy light and sit in front of it for 30-60 minutes a day. I had heard about these lights over the past years, but was not willing to make the pricey investment. My doctor's referral made me feel more confident that I could indeed benefit from its use, so I decided to give it a shot. I hope to be able to report that it is making a big difference in my state of mind and I have high hopes that my motivation, energy and happier, more joyful days will soon return. January and February will provide prime testing conditions. I'll be sure to share my opinions on my personal experience and my insight as the winter progresses.<br />
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Although I really enjoyed the time I spent with my daughter and family, I'm glad the holidays are behind us and happy to be home again. I'm hopeful the bronchitis will disappear soon and I pray that 2013 will be a good year for all of us. Happy New Year to all of you. May we all experience a bright year ahead!Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-55308253264470938762012-12-25T22:46:00.000-05:002012-12-25T22:46:49.884-05:00A Different Kind Of ChristmasThis was a very different kind of Christmas this year; one I hope to never revisit. Mine was filled with sadness and illness for the whole week leading up to and including Christmas Day. Acute Bronchitis separated me from my loved ones, as I decided to spend Christmas alone for the first time in my life. Not sure if I was contagious and having zero energy, I felt it was in every ones best interest if I stayed home and rested. Last night's snow made it feel a little more Christmas-like today in my undecorated home. This was my third season not to put up a tree, because it is just too painful to go through the motions like I did that first Christmas without Buck.<br />
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I was very disappointed not to attend Christmas Eve service with my daughter and family at her church, as this is our new tradition since Buck went home to heaven. I always spend the night on Christmas Eve and wake with my grandchildren and get to witness all the excitement of Christmas morning with the little ones. I was saddened to miss all of those activities this year. I did my best to push away the self-pity and loneliness, but I have to confess their were moments that were really hard. I comforted myself with the hope that I would be better soon. I knew I needed to count my blessings to get through this unwelcome, temporary detour. I will be looking forward to joining my family as soon as I am able. We will have to make some new memories in the week ahead.<br />
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I hope all of you were able to be surrounded by your loved ones and friends as you celebrated Christmas this year. This is a privilege I won't take for granted in the future. Christmas blessings to all of you and thank you for your continued support by stopping by today. God bless you, my friends! <br />
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<br />Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-52135748000703601092012-12-13T09:00:00.000-05:002012-12-13T09:00:03.977-05:00Scroogette<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">This is a repost from my first Christmas spent as a widow. This year (December, 2012) will be my fourth Christmas without the love of my life to share it with. I think it would be safe to say that I'm still a Scroogette. However, I enjoy Christmas more than I used to, because I don't get involved in the holiday machine. New traditions have been set in place and my Christmas season is much simpler, more relaxed and enjoyable now. For that I am so thankful! Perhaps more about that in the near future.</span></h3>
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I have never done a survey, but I would be willing to guess that most people are Christmas lovers. I have a confession to make. I’m not one of them… I am not a Christmas person. My reasons are many. Buck and I both shared an attitude towards retailers who started their Christmas sales focus prior to the end of October. It seemed that Back To School sales had barely wrapped up before the artificial trees and decorations came out. Then there was the issue of our favorite radio stations beginning to play Christmas music on Thanksgiving Day or earlier. Frankly, we would not listen to the radio as much as usual, until the week before Christmas. Then we would welcome and enjoy the special seasonal music. I’m sorry to sound like such a Scrooge, but this is honestly how we felt.</div>
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My main frustration was the addition of all the responsibilities that came with the holiday season. These, plus an already full schedule, made for a stressful month of preparation. Being the classic procrastinators that we were, surely didn’t lighten our load. Some of us never figure out that it’s possible and very wise to think about, and shop for, gifts throughout the year. Christmas encompasses many things that I hate; things like shopping and crowds, long lines and snarled traffic, deadlines and decisions, because I am not creative with my gift giving inspiration. I have a difficult time making decisions about what I like, let alone trying to decide what my loved ones might enjoy. Then, of course, there would be the new five to ten pounds that I ‘found’ every January, after working throughout the year to lose them...again, (but that’s a personal problem).</div>
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It has been our tradition to have our family gathering on Christmas Eve each year. All our children and grandchildren would come together to enjoy Buck’s specialty: his wonderful fried deer steak dinner that he lovingly prepared for all of us. I have never mastered making it as well as he did. I was his assistant, but he was the main chef for this annual feast. In addition to the venison, his menu consisted of mashed taters and gravy, corn, green beans with bacon, cranberry sauce and biscuits or cornbread. I would be responsible for making desserts, usually German Chocolate Cake, Peanut Butter Pie and ice cream. It was the highlight meal of the year that all of us looked forward to.</div>
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I rarely got to see what presents everyone got, because I was the gifts distributor for Buck and I, and I could never convince my sweetheart that opening our gifts one at a time was a reasonable way to do things (my opinion). Occasionally, I would catch someone’s reaction as they opened one of the gifts from Buck and I, but for the most part I missed all of that, and that has always been disappointing for me.</div>
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All the activities and preparation left no room for the very reason we celebrated. There never seemed to be any real focus on what Christmas was all about: the celebration of the birth of our Savior. It seemed like the only attention given to the ‘reason for the season’, was the cake I made the past few years with ‘Happy Birthday Jesus’ spelled out on the top of the cake with chocolate chips. When our Christmas Eve celebration was over and the all the gifts were packed up to travel to their new homes, we would send our loved ones off with smiles and hugs, and I would spend my remaining energy cleaning up the kitchen. </div>
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After our family would leave, I would experience the same emotions each year. I would ask myself; ‘what just happened here?’ I thank God for cameras or I probably wouldn’t have any Christmas memories. After everyone went home, Buck and I would feel spent from all the preparation and relieved that it was over for another year. Please don’t misunderstand; we loved getting together with our family. But the time invested in all the preliminary activities would leave us too exhausted to go to the last Christmas Eve service at our church. We both would feel disappointed when we didn’t have energy enough to be there to celebrate the birth of our Lord.</div>
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This year will be very different, as I just don’t have it in me to carry on our family tradition. I hope our children and grandchildren still love me after my ‘true confession’ and know that I won’t be offended if anyone addresses me as Scroogette in the future!</div>
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I am not certain if I will post another entry in my journal before Friday, so I would like to take this opportunity to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas! I hope it will be a special time with your family and friends. Thank you for continuing to care about my journey.</div>
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Love,</div>
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Renee'</div>
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Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-12430036218780747392012-11-23T09:00:00.000-05:002012-11-23T14:02:17.782-05:00 A Thankful Heart Is A Happier Heart<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">This is a repost of an entry from two years ago. I'm thankful that revisiting this post encouraged me, since I've been feeling pretty blue lately. I think it would be a good idea to keep a Gratitude Journal</span><br />
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once again. Maybe if I focus on counting my blessings again, I'll be able to kick this funk to the curb. I hope it will encourage you to give thanks to our Creator as well.</div>
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As the Thanksgiving season approached this year, I took on the daily challenge of posting something I was thankful for. Facebook became my daily platform to share my thankful thought for the day. As I contemplated what I would include that day, I realized how much this exercise was turning my thoughts to all the blessings I enjoy. I love the idea of keeping an inventory of the many blessings that come my way. As I contemplated the celebration of Thanksgiving I am sure that many of us are indeed thankful for all we have, but I wonder if we are all mindful of where our abundant blessings really come from.<br />
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The dictionary defines thanksgiving as an expression of gratitude, especially to God. By participating in the simple act of being thankful, my spirits were often lifted as I deliberately changed my focus, in spite of the way I might be feeling. I wonder, if maybe that is one of the reasons we are often encouraged to give thanks in so many scriptures in the Bible. 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 admonishes us to: "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus".<br />
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I have learned that it is possible to be joyful in spite of heartache, but it sometimes requires a conscious effort to search for, or at least take notice of joy-filled moments, and there are many to be found when we are looking for them. As the verse goes on, I don't think for a moment, that God expects us to be thankful FOR all our circumstances and the difficulties we face, but rather we are commanded to give thanks IN all circumstances. That is very different.<br />
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For me, that means that even when I'm struggling emotionally, with the Lord's help, I can remember and recognize that He is on this journey with me. Through tears, I may pray, "Lord, I'm hurting right now and sometimes I don't understand, but I thank You for what You are doing in my life and I trust You and know You have my best interest at heart as well as the best interest of those I love. Thank You for the good You will bring from this situation and for drawing me closer to You as You empower me to take baby steps towards my future."<br />
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Having a thankful heart comes easy for me because I have been so very blessed and have seen the hand of God in so many ways throughout my life, but never so obviously as during the past, almost, two years, since this chapter began. He continues to go before me, in this totally foreign territory of widowhood. So often, the Lord shows me the next step by bringing people into my life to help with the many decisions that need to be made. This is a tremendous comfort to me!<br />
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I have decided that I would like to continue my daily thankfulness inventory. Perhaps I will share my Gratitude Journal from time to time. I encourage everyone to try keeping a record of thanksgiving and rereading it whenever we need an emotional lift or attitude adjustment.<br />
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As William Shakespeare said so eloquently: "Let never day nor night unhallowed pass / But still remember what the Lord hath done." May we all take a few moments to thank God for the multitude of ways He blesses each of us everyday! We are all richer than we know! God bless you and your loved ones as you celebrate this holiday season! You are a tremendous blessing in my life<br />
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Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-8464745048571346692012-11-15T09:18:00.000-05:002012-11-15T09:18:25.953-05:00Divine Consultant<br />
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.22067919513210654" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My heart goes out to all those who lost so much and to all those who are still without power and basic needs in the aftermath of the storm. I was very thankful not to lose power and for the minimal damage from </span></b><b id="internal-source-marker_0.22067919513210654" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">the deadly storm</span></b><b id="internal-source-marker_0.22067919513210654" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> to the residents of the area where I live. </span><b id="internal-source-marker_0.22067919513210654" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></b></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.22067919513210654" style="font-weight: normal;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.22067919513210654" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.22067919513210654" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As anticipation built for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy a few weeks ago, I prepared as best I could, just as all of us did. I kept a watchful eye for any unwanted water in my basement that Monday, as I had experienced this one other time when there were several days of rainfall. I was thankful that the Great Stuff expanding foam had taken care of that problem. However, I found another place where water was seeping in and it became my primary focus and consumed my energy and attention. There was rain water coming in where a large pipe went through the basement wall. Unbeknown to me, there were two hairline cracks in the mortar surrounding the pipe, allowing a steady flow of water to enter my home. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My attempt to stop the small stream with an application of Great Stuff wasn’t effective because the mortar was wet. I realized that nothing was going to seal those cracks until the mortar was completely dry. Attending to the incoming water was my only option until the storm passed by. I felt fortunate to have discovered the leak before it created a watery mess. In an attempt to keep the water off the floor, I tucked a piece of rope into the foam, creating a wick to carry the water to a five gallon bucket. To my dismay, the bucket filled in an hour. So, for three hours, my life was all about disposing of the accumulating water. After many trips up and down the basement stairs, I was wearing out. At one point, the rope fell down while I was transferring water to a smaller bucket, making it more manageable to carry. I tried three times to get the rope back in place and it repeatedly fell to the floor. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Although I meant no disrespect, in my frustration and fatigue, I had “words” with the Lord: “ YOU COULD BE HELPING ME OUT HERE, YOU KNOW!” Immediately, a foreign thought came to my mind. What I perceived was this: “Just let the water roll down the wall”. My first thought was: “Are you kidding me? If I do that, I’ll have a big mess on the floor and it will be a lot harder to clean up”. That made no sense to me and I was totally skeptical, but I listened and watched with astonishment as the water escaped and disappeared instead of collecting and spreading as I had feared. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For awhile, I returned every ten minutes to make sure there wasn't a growing puddle on the floor. In my skepticism, I set my alarm clock to wake me every two hours to be certain there wasn’t a pond in the basement. After two waking cycles, I finally trusted that all was well and I had to laugh. How good God was to me, as He revealed what I didn’t know or understand about the construction of my home. I thanked Him for His kindness in blessing me with this new information. Even though I was complaining and never thought to ask; He blessed me anyway! It is my hope that the next time I need help, I will remember to ask instead of complain. Thank You for Your continuing faithfulness to me, Lord, even in spite of my grumbling. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+1:5&version=NIV"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #651300; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">James 1:5</span></a><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If any of you lacks wisdom, you should </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ask</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.</span></b></div>
Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-42261577249220727072012-10-26T11:25:00.000-04:002012-11-06T19:55:21.008-05:00Ugly Anniversary<br />
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I started writing this journal entry on October 18th, but I was too tired to complete it that night. My heart has been heavy all week, as I processed the events of that day. This is what came out as I put my thoughts to the page.</span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have been committed to not focusing on grief, because I sensed the Lord prompting me to do so, since the April, three year anniversary of my husband’s passing. But I am also committed to being honest about my journey, so my writing will appear to be changing direction today.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s 9 PM and I’m exhausted: done...nothing left! Today would have been our 15th wedding anniversary and I decided to commemorate this day by doing something that I have avoided since Buck's death three and a half years ago. It has been four years since I last visited Gifford Pinchot State Park, in Lewisberry, Pennsylvania, about an hour drive from my home. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI4ocQr5uyVJA8J5v_OGgcVOz8OKIE4u-fP5NqyYV7Lbiz3LwhZA2GnH77Bot9tvSFfcela_8geSGv7t5y7Y6LSEQOs75310PtSMFTtSgjmowalwOOdJjfB5J5UwuQvc8UtyRF4KFOcJsy/s1600/IMG_1343.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI4ocQr5uyVJA8J5v_OGgcVOz8OKIE4u-fP5NqyYV7Lbiz3LwhZA2GnH77Bot9tvSFfcela_8geSGv7t5y7Y6LSEQOs75310PtSMFTtSgjmowalwOOdJjfB5J5UwuQvc8UtyRF4KFOcJsy/s320/IMG_1343.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was our favorite, local place to go camping and being there was one of the hardest things I’ve done since Buck was called home. Frankly, it felt somewhat crazy to go back, knowing how painful it was going to be. But I felt that it would be another important step of closure, and would make it possible to visit again in the future, and be able to enjoy the surroundings again someday. That was my goal and I used it to motivate me to push through. It was just something that I needed to do, no matter how unpleasant it might be. I felt it was important to do this on my own. Just the Lord and I would go through this together. It was a temptation to invite a friend to join me; I would have welcomed the distraction. Never-the-less, I chose to go solo, knowing that facing this challenge by myself would be most beneficial. And I really didn’t want to drag a friend through what I knew would be a very emotional day.</span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6tMy7E-DqBLyQsvxCs2VQkSq6Ydo9JEoXy_uxN0A6FTuikKK424H6bD9vMzoaz6QuGBEpbGWb50LGdtzypLs5ghNVpurDHHGEw0tkE5Lqvoayo4D7o5blfcD-5R7noAD4m2vENWUQFacM/s1600/IMG_1373.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6tMy7E-DqBLyQsvxCs2VQkSq6Ydo9JEoXy_uxN0A6FTuikKK424H6bD9vMzoaz6QuGBEpbGWb50LGdtzypLs5ghNVpurDHHGEw0tkE5Lqvoayo4D7o5blfcD-5R7noAD4m2vENWUQFacM/s320/IMG_1373.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The last time I was there, was when my sweetheart and I celebrated our eleventh anniversary, just a few months before his heart attack. We rented a cottage, instead of using our camper. Camping was our favorite form of getting away, but we decided to rent a cottage to simplify packing for the weekend. We had just moved into our new home a few weeks before and were consumed with trying to get unpacked and settled. It was a luxury to have a cottage, because it was equipped with electricity and electric heat. The location was beautiful and scenic, since it was built lakeside. It had a fire ring, so we were able to have a campfire, and Buck prepared his famous pork steak for us on </span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirNvyfqUQtEIzB91LguRKNu2j8F9cgXIF0LVMzmpoWZjrUTxH4AgbrjSdsbLXPVDGAa7Q_gkwT6pqQ5n5zJADHGeBhACp6m4RNw2Sbgh6cElK3RflghwA6fQKXuLbsbsdRHEQ6gBUsM6id/s1600/IMG_1372.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirNvyfqUQtEIzB91LguRKNu2j8F9cgXIF0LVMzmpoWZjrUTxH4AgbrjSdsbLXPVDGAa7Q_gkwT6pqQ5n5zJADHGeBhACp6m4RNw2Sbgh6cElK3RflghwA6fQKXuLbsbsdRHEQ6gBUsM6id/s320/IMG_1372.JPG" width="320" /></a><b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">one of our weekend evenings. And of course, there was always s'mores later in the evening after the fire died down.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The memories rushed over me like a waterfall, when I approached the parking lot of the Conewago Day Use Area. As the tears rinsed the blush off my face, I wished I had remembered to bring my towel with me.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Upon my arrival at noon, I ate my lunch at one of the lakeside picnic tables. A couple with a young child arrived a few minutes later and I turned my back to them, so they wouldn’t see the emotion I couldn’t hide. I hoped they couldn't see my body shaking as I did my best to control the silent sobs. </span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After lunch, I spent some time journaling and reading my Bible. I opened it randomly and came upon a verse that comforted me, as I was reminded: “Yet we have this assurance: Those who belong to God shall live again! Their bodies shall rise again! Those who dwell in the dust shall awake and sing for joy! For God’s light of life will fall like dew upon them!” (Isaiah 26:19, Living Bible Translation).</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsa5JcBFpLlngwMFIJwofF6sgLBQaNMutENzyh7xhbSOXijT9nJqV4yrsZkeWoc8EkRFd7SGz8Nr7g-eQ2D0hXr3VMGDUCJzpdM46Br_atCvA6L8pHzPlFEpXR7Gtl-8WUSJuzakBNcwl_/s1600/IMG_1365.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsa5JcBFpLlngwMFIJwofF6sgLBQaNMutENzyh7xhbSOXijT9nJqV4yrsZkeWoc8EkRFd7SGz8Nr7g-eQ2D0hXr3VMGDUCJzpdM46Br_atCvA6L8pHzPlFEpXR7Gtl-8WUSJuzakBNcwl_/s320/IMG_1365.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Afterward, I walked the Lakeside Trail and came upon the cottage where we had stayed. It was wide open, so I took the opportunity to take some pictures inside and out. I sat at the picnic table in front of the cottage, and wrote a letter to Buck to help me deal with all the emotion. I watched the Canadian geese and the Great Blue Heron in the cove. The tears ran freely as the fragrance of wood smoke filled the air, and the familiar sounds of campers setting up their temporary shelters rang through the wooded campground.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Kz8INtvKdYsO1aiu5zZ2G8f0nUve9In2hRp9p3kSpm-82LbcluodzEXFI3pGFIJ3E42gWiMDjwCo1FOFXPaerJ4n_zq9t4Ty2YOCCr2iyhZjojNwqHc2fzTZ90JahmU4U80DqRO_9hS7/s1600/IMG_1361.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Kz8INtvKdYsO1aiu5zZ2G8f0nUve9In2hRp9p3kSpm-82LbcluodzEXFI3pGFIJ3E42gWiMDjwCo1FOFXPaerJ4n_zq9t4Ty2YOCCr2iyhZjojNwqHc2fzTZ90JahmU4U80DqRO_9hS7/s320/IMG_1361.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My next goal was to visit our favorite campsites near the beach. I suppose I depleted my tear reservoir, because I had nothing left as I walked through the area where we had spent so many joy-filled, memory-making days. Thankfully, I only felt numbness as I made my way through the much loved area, where we had spent so many summer and autumn vacation days.</span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghyH8v9CHu_PFotWgYY0M5HVIBNS2Pp05eqzRQkfaY7ZbW_kIHzMMYh3cxtdKKcRWeBqW_t_r_RA_VcK3dxTPG0_vGLi04JvgUIceAwXEx85CRuVHSZLLvdYXIlq4e7Y9EY-Xg9pV84koZ/s1600/IMG_1387.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghyH8v9CHu_PFotWgYY0M5HVIBNS2Pp05eqzRQkfaY7ZbW_kIHzMMYh3cxtdKKcRWeBqW_t_r_RA_VcK3dxTPG0_vGLi04JvgUIceAwXEx85CRuVHSZLLvdYXIlq4e7Y9EY-Xg9pV84koZ/s320/IMG_1387.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The sky darkened with threatening clouds, so I had to hustle to get back to the day use area where my car was parked. There was no temptation to linger. I had achieved my goals and it was time to head back. To my delight, instead of getting rained on, I was blessed with a lovely sunset: a fitting way to close out my day of reminiscing about some of our happiest days. It made me smile. </span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thanked God for all the precious memories and for the wonderful years Buck and I had to spend together. Also, for this setting of the sun over the beautiful lake and for helping me to get through this difficult day. I am confident that these clouds will lift and joy will return </span></b><b id="internal-source-marker_0.337922704173252" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">again sometime soon, as I continue to thank God for all my blessings and look for the joy hidden in each new day.</span></b></div>
Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-66058689882183085532012-10-12T10:22:00.000-04:002012-10-12T10:22:43.140-04:00Late Bloomer<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX4dk0UjB5l6oT1qAxX_6tsZnBAKzqtr9Tu5M2ajAQsf8b0lrtvXDyimIoD66D-tSiVV0GiwIlgS_6whN3lBVwTIMOxEbxpdWwFEibtQv-EL5ME4HIHZBANYPv2LVIBi1hwH2MDggPGAor/s1600/IMG_6436.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX4dk0UjB5l6oT1qAxX_6tsZnBAKzqtr9Tu5M2ajAQsf8b0lrtvXDyimIoD66D-tSiVV0GiwIlgS_6whN3lBVwTIMOxEbxpdWwFEibtQv-EL5ME4HIHZBANYPv2LVIBi1hwH2MDggPGAor/s400/IMG_6436.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
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<b><i>First blossom a few days after transplanting</i></b></td></tr>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.906443685060367" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I noticed the emerging blossom on the young Moonflower plant that day, when I was shopping in my local greenhouse. The large white flower would probably open in a few more days. It was getting to be late in the season for planting, since it was the Fourth of July weekend, but I had to bring it home and give it a chance to thrive and bring beauty into my world.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was a thrill to watch the rapid growth as it twisted and curled itself around my porch post. I provided a long shoelace tied to the post to give it something to climb and cling to as it grew. Everyday, I did my best to give each new curly tendril the direction it needed to stay attached to the pole instead of going it’s own way, just flailing in the summer breeze. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The blossom that attracted me initially bloomed a few days after I planted it, or better said, a few nights later as the large blossoms usually start unfurling around dusk and are limp and withered by early morning. It didn’t take long for the lush plant to fill out and become a lovely focal point for the front of my home.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I had to wait nearly a month before I saw any sign of another white blossom. August passed by before blossom three showed up. I confess, I was a bit disappointed at the scarcity of flowers. Just the same, I enjoyed the abundant greenery and the Praying Mantises that it attracted.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRAUvULTcERKhTJSE7e3uaHLJd4iNbKr1yEZ15zqytbz2QXvhfQIVplyvhPVvqRqkIBhyzXPr8gcHAvUk5lVQESkYnAf8bc7dwiU7d_zS5WqJ3eZf_Wp02J1sF91A1EFjaKY94KbK1RjoI/s1600/IMG_0973.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRAUvULTcERKhTJSE7e3uaHLJd4iNbKr1yEZ15zqytbz2QXvhfQIVplyvhPVvqRqkIBhyzXPr8gcHAvUk5lVQESkYnAf8bc7dwiU7d_zS5WqJ3eZf_Wp02J1sF91A1EFjaKY94KbK1RjoI/s320/IMG_0973.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.906443685060367" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When October arrived and the chilly autumn evenings rolled in, my thoughts turned to the reality that soon I would be witnessing the demise of my beloved flowers. All too soon, I would be clearing away the memories of all the beauty and pleasure my gardens provided this summer; as the leaves would soon turn yellow, then brown and crisp, as they succumbed to the fatal damage of the first anticipated frost. I would be thankful for the joy and healing that my gardens brought to my broken heart this summer and look forward to starting the growing cycle all over again in the spring.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Autumn has always been hard for me emotionally, because it was Buck's favorite season and our wedding anniversary takes place mid-October, bringing a flood of memories with it. Never the less, I have made a decision to welcome it this year and to be more intentional to look for all the beauty that this colorful season has to offer. </span></b><br />
<b id="internal-source-marker_0.906443685060367" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b>
<b id="internal-source-marker_0.906443685060367" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I had no expectations of finding anything more to smile about in my gardens, since autumn had arrived. Then recently, I noticed something that brought unexpected delight to my heart. It seemed that all of a sudden, my Moonflower had developed multiple blossoms and if the weather doesn’t deliver any killing frosts in the next several days, I have the potential for more flowers this week than I had all summer. Now I’m thanking God for my “late bloomer”!</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8L1o05LssPVlf8iKVWzEvoODRQd5FE_1Z0heggU7ZUXk8QCXkkhUhSGNpSRCNQkMVQOSI_hOQVji-0poRhQxgJ31EjPHK19JMqe514W1zgyOxHfRSodN0cns-4UF9g1upsFVzaLRBr2J1/s1600/IMG_1284.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8L1o05LssPVlf8iKVWzEvoODRQd5FE_1Z0heggU7ZUXk8QCXkkhUhSGNpSRCNQkMVQOSI_hOQVji-0poRhQxgJ31EjPHK19JMqe514W1zgyOxHfRSodN0cns-4UF9g1upsFVzaLRBr2J1/s320/IMG_1284.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Blessed to enjoy this blossom all day long, thanks to the cloudy day</i></b></td></tr>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.906443685060367" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Recently, I was treated to a wonderful surprise, when a blossom (number four) was still wide open and beautiful all day long, thanks to the cloudy day that fooled the flower into believing it was still nightfall. For the first time, I was able to take pictures of the fragrant saucer sized flower in the daytime.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As I considered the new growth I found, I sensed that God wanted me to draw a parallel here. Perhaps it‘s His way of showing me that I am a lot like my Moonflower. That I too, have the potential to blossom and grow, though I am in the autumn of my life. I’m starting to realize how important it is to remember that “It’s never too late to bloom where you’re planted”. I pray that when springtime arrives, I will show signs of fresh growth, creativity, and healing thanks to the emerging of the new seasons ahead. I need to believe that God can provide the ideal conditions to help me produce something of lasting beauty, if I will trust Him to inspire me to blossom, using the creative gifts he has given me. He will lovingly guide me with His wisdom. He will provide direction, as I depend on Him for i</span></b><b id="internal-source-marker_0.906443685060367" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">nspiration.</span></b><br />
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I believe this is a message that can speak to all of us. Being made in God's image means we all have been blessed with creative gifts. My encouragement to you and myself is to use those gifts to glorify God in whatever way He may lead and inspire us.<br />
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Embracing the months ahead will make them a time to look forward to, instead of dreading as I have in the past. Lord, help me to remember everyday, no matter the season:<br />
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.906443685060367"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24</i></span></b></div>
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Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-45454406655141089092012-09-08T01:04:00.000-04:002012-09-17T01:27:23.706-04:00Not Your Everyday Breakfast Date<br />
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Taking a little break from my "Seven" experience; I want to share a few days of interesting wildlife encounters at my home. And no, I won't be complaining about groundhogs this time. Though, I will mention that I have searched on line for smoke bombs in my frustration. But for now, like Forest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that".<br />
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I love to spend time on my front porch...the porch that my Bofren (my nickname for Buck) and I built together. It was to be the place where we would watch sunrises, enjoy afternoon rainbows and thunderstorms in the distance. We would enjoy our meals there (weather permitting) and observe the deer in the surrounding farmland, when they would come out to graze at dusk. It would be a place to watch bluebirds and fireflies; a place to dream out loud, share our lives and grow old together. But if you've been following my journey, you know that wasn't God's plan, and so, I am deliberate in utilizing this wonderful space as much as possible, in memory of my sweetheart.<br />
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I've been a bit melancholy this past week. No big surprise, since September 1st was Buck's birthday: the fourth one I've commemorated without him at my side. I still have sad days of course... like recently, when a black pick-up truck approached on my neighborhood road with a driver who looked just like my Buck. Those moments take my breath away! I wept all the way to church on my 15 minute commute. I have learned to embrace these times when they come up, and appreciate them as an outlet for any accumulated grief. I hate when it happens, but always feel better when the emotions subside.<br />
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This past week was typical, as I spent my devotional time on my glider in the mid-morning hours. On this particular morning, I ate my bowl of oatmeal as I enjoyed a sunny spot on the porch. There was a flowering plant on the little table next to me and I inspected the dainty white blossoms as I savored my morning meal. As my eyes traveled across the greenery, something almost transparent caught my attention at the base of the plant. My eyes kept scanning as it dawned on me what it was. The very next moment, I was startled by the large Praying Mantis that had obviously just shed this fragile skin shell. I've been spotting his relatives in most of my gardens and hiding in my Moonflowers. I'm so glad to see this hungry sentinel occupying my beloved plant life!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Meet Camo, as he appears to smile and wave while touching my camera</i></b></td></tr>
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I was curious about my new friend and invited him to climb onto my hand. I had just finished my breakfast and it occurred to me to offer an oat to the only insect that I know of that isn't an enemy of one of my garden crops. I was captivated as I watched his little mouth parts munch away at my tiny offering. I raced for my camera to capture the moment. I found my friend to be very photogenic and cooperative, and was thrilled that my camera could seize this unique opportunity with such clarity, using an automatic setting at such close range. Close enough that Camo (yes, I named him) was actually touching my camera in some of the pictures during the photo shoot. It was so much fun, and brought me great joy!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Camo munches away on my oatmeal</i></b></td></tr>
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Though this week produced some emotional shrapnel, I'm choosing to focus on the blessing that God gave me to share with you today. My encounter with Camo was just one of the precious gifts I enjoyed this week. I hope you enjoyed my experience and my photos. I can't wait to share my "show and tell" pictures with my grandchildren! It's so refreshing to know I have a friend in my gardens! Now, if only they had an appetite for stinkbugs! More about that next time.<br />
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Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-23518324617823171042012-09-02T08:30:00.000-04:002012-09-03T00:44:53.302-04:00Seven ~ Food Month ~ Part Four<span id="internal-source-marker_0.050893388105637705" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">On
the first morning of eating normally again, after eating only our seven chosen foods for a month, I wasn’t prepared for what
happened to me. I’m still processing the impact that I hope will remain
for a long time to come. It was a chilly morning that day, so I decided
to make a bowl of oatmeal. I popped a raisin in my mouth while I assembled the oats, raisins, cinnamon and milk. I savored the sweet
flavor as it rehydrated, while the oatmeal simmered in the microwave.
This was my first encounter with sweetness other than apples for the
past thirty days. It was delightful! After a few minutes, I gave the
soupy oatmeal mixture a stir and added another minute. While I waited, I
licked the milky spoon and the spiciness of the cinnamon touched a
nerve in my soul. The next thing I knew I was weeping and wondering
where that unexpected emotional response came from. Even now, three months
later, I get emotional every time I share that story. I think my first
reaction was one of overwhelming gratitude and a fresh awareness of
God’s goodness to me. I hope I will never again be so oblivious to how
very blessed I am! It was a powerful moment and I hope I never forget
it! </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">One
would think that after eating the same seven foods for a month that I
might grow tired of them and not want to face them for a very long time.
But that has not been the case at all. In fact, cheddar cheese and
hard-boiled eggs have become my favorite snack and I even crave them
now. This has been an unexpected bonus and the most satisfying snack I
have ever enjoyed. All that protein, I guess. I’m thrilled with the new
lifestyle changes I have adopted thanks to my Food Month experience. I
knew food month was going to be good for me, but I was pleasantly
surprised by the long-term choices it has inspired and the new energy I have enjoyed because of them.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Paring
down to seven foods for a month has given me a new perspective about
the way I shop for, prepare and consume my food. It has opened my eyes
to the abundance of food that I always have available and the ridiculous
amount of choices that beckon each time I enter a grocery store. I’m gladly
trading in my old ways for a simpler way of life that is a welcome
change and many healthier blessings have followed. Most importantly, I have a fresh awareness of God's abundant provisions that are available to me everyday.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Next
time I’ll be sharing about Seven’s Clothing Month and how difficult it
was to choose the seven garments (not outfits) I would be wearing for a
month. That month too, held some pleasant surprises!</span><br />
<br />Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-16399626139811136572012-08-25T09:53:00.001-04:002012-08-25T09:53:43.228-04:00Seven ~ Food Month ~ Part Three ~ Hot Water And Preoccupation<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px;">After
the initial days of no morning coffee and the tell tale headaches were
past, I realized that I missed the sheer pleasure of having something
hot to drink and I did something I thought I would never do. And no, I
didn’t cheat!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px;">I
remember years ago, a housekeeping client (and dear friend) had her mom
visiting from out of town and she had a custom of drinking plain hot
water. I thought that was kind of weird at the time, but now I
understand the beauty and simplicity of her choice of beverage. Even now
that our Seven food fast is over, I have made a cup of hot H2O a part
of my morning ritual (if it’s chilly). I find it very comforting
somehow. It’s okay if you think that’s strange, bizarre or quirky. I
understand. You might want to try it sometime though. It might surprise
you too.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">One
of the aspects of food month that I didn’t like was the reality of how
food conscious I had become. I was consumed with making sure I had all
my foods cooked and available and my thoughts seemed to constantly be
wrapped around my next meal. I hated being so food focused! One day I
was taking an afternoon walk and was talking to God. I remember being in
mid-sentence and drifting to thoughts of how I was going to prepare my
potato that night. It was pathetic! About midway through the month,
routine settled in and normalcy returned. I was greatly relieved! </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I was
thankful that I was able to eat at home so often, because eating out
presented it’s own unique share of challenges with such a limited list of food options. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
did enjoy two “oasis days” during food month. This was a term coined by
the author to describe days we were guests in someone’s home. On
Mother’s Day and at an early June wedding, I thoroughly enjoyed whatever
was offered to me. Although, I said no thank you to my sister’s dessert
and brought my slice of wedding cake home to enjoy a few days later
when food month was over. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">A
few things that have stayed with me since the completion of food month
are the awareness of how blessed I am and how much I take for
granted. It never felt sacrificial to intentionally limit my food
choices, because I still had an abundant supply of my seven foods and
the convenience to easily prepare them. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">During that month, I started
thinking about what it must be like not to have the luxury of
refrigeration and how hard it would be to have to prepare and cook for
every meal. I thought about people who only have rice or beans and are
so thankful that they have them. I tried to put myself in the place of
someone from a third world country, coming to America and going to a
grocery store for the first time. I can’t imagine how overwhelming it
would be. I wonder how it would affect me to see all our choices through
the eyes of that perspective. Surely, anyone who has gone through the adoption process has witnessed this through the eyes of their child, the first time they are exposed to that experience. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I'm still processing my journey through "Food Month" and will share more next time. Thanks for stopping by.</span><br />
<br />Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-78914052349435553072012-08-19T22:16:00.000-04:002012-08-19T23:04:30.368-04:00Seven "Food Month" ~ Part Two ~ Goodbye To Processed Food And The Salt Shaker <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Getting Better At This Bread Baking Adventure</b></td></tr>
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<br />
Thanks to my positive experience during our “Food Month” experiment, I decided to eliminate processed foods from my diet (at home) as much as possible, in favor of making whole food choices instead. After I consume the processed foods in my pantry, I hope I won’t be tempted to replace them. This too is an experiment, as I venture to adopt this new lifestyle, now that “Food Month” is behind me.<br />
<br />
Recently, I decided to pull out my bread machine and I’m experimenting with making my own bread again. I was a bread baker many years ago in my hippie/pioneer days when Sarah was very young. I made my whole wheat bread from scratch, once a week by hand, and would make six loaves at a time. This was short-lived however, since Sarah and her dad only enjoyed eating it on baking day and weren’t interested in it, once it lived in the freezer for a few days.<br />
<br />
My first attempt to make 100% whole wheat bread in the bread machine was a disappointing flop with a happy ending. I had taken a chance and used the yeast I had on hand that was two months past expiration. Thankfully, I was keeping an eye on the dough-making process and noticed that the dough had failed to rise. I rescued it from the pending baking cycle and tried an idea to recycle the dough. I cut it into 12 parts, flattened and rolled out each ball as thinly as possible and baked them individually in a dry, cast-iron fry pan on top of the stove. I was thrilled with the outcome! The resulting finished product was similar to a pita bread without the pocket and was very tasty. <br />
<br />
My first several bread-making attempts since the flat bread have been less than desirable, making a very short, dry, dense loaf. Since then, my efforts have been much more rewarding as I experiment with different recipes. Now, I let the bread machine do the kneading and I shape the loaf, let it rise in my bread pan and bake in my oven. I like the traditional shape and size much better than the bread machine loaf and I’m enjoying being a bread baker again. I’m looking forward to experimenting with lots of recipes this autumn and winter.<br />
<br />
For the most part, I really enjoyed the month long discipline of eating so healthfully and found out that I missed very little of my normal diet. I also had the bonus of losing seven pounds and that got me to my ideal weight again. Since weight loss wasn't a goal or motive, we were permitted to eat however much we wanted of our choices. (Going forward; having homemade bread around all the time, I'll need to be careful if I want to keep off that seven pound winter coat). I was surprised that I ate less and never felt hungry. What’s not to love about that?<br />
<br />
The only thing I really missed at first was mayonnaise, but soon enough, I started enjoying all the subtle flavors and decided to challenge myself a little more. I gave up my love affair with the salt shaker, just to see what it would be like. So, I have adopted a post Seven habit of no added salt at the table and now I don’t miss it hardly at all. I never thought I would be able to enjoy foods like eggs or popcorn without it, but I was wrong. <br />
<br />
I felt more energetic and better than I had in years. I suppose the no sugar component had a lot to do with that. And I’m certain that all the sunshine helped boost my energy level as I worked the soil and planted my gardens in preparation for “Waste Month”.<br />
<br />
In my last post, I listed the foods that comprised our menu for a month. If you were to try this experiment, what seven foods do you think you would choose? I’m curious. More about “Food Month” next time.<br />
<br />Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-34908787771978892702012-08-11T17:30:00.000-04:002012-08-11T17:38:01.824-04:00Seven ~ Food Month ~ Part One<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3e3733; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>This is what we chose to eat for a month</i></b></td></tr>
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It's been a month since I last posted here. My life has been filled with summertime responsibilities and projects, mostly inspired by the Seven Experiment I've been involved in since early May. And I'm happy to report; it's been a really good summer, as I thank God for the healing that has taken place in this, my favorite season of the year!</div>
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In my last post I shared about a quest I'm on with my daughter, Sarah, son-in-law, Bob and Sarah's small group Bible study gals, based on a book titled: Seven. An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess.</div>
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On May 7th, we set out to face the excess in our lives in the area of food. As we prepared for launching out into our own version of the Seven experiment, I don’t think any of us realized how consuming this commitment would be. Although there were many options for the way it could be approached, we decided to follow in Jen Hatmaker’s (the author of Seven) footsteps and chose only seven foods we would eat for a month. For most of us, our only beverage would be water.</div>
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Our food list included:<br />
Apples (only Gala or Granny Smith, as simplicity and narrowed choices were part of the goal)<br />
Cheese (Mozzarella or Cheddar)<br />
Chicken<br />
Eggs<br />
Potatoes<br />
Spinach<br />
Whole Wheat bread (any type)<br />
We also allowed: salt, pepper and a small amount of olive oil.<br />
We choose these in the hope that they would provide the most nutrients and versatility. It didn’t take long for me to recognize how much I take for granted on a daily basis.</div>
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Our menu for food month required more planning and patience (compared to our normal menus), unless we were content to eat apples and cheese sandwiches most of the time. It meant more cooking, especially at breakfast time and of course it meant eliminating coffee, so several of us (myself included) had the classic caffeine headache for a few days.</div>
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We got into the habit of cooking ahead, trying to have chicken, potatoes and hard boiled eggs prepared at all times. When we are used to the convenience of our normally available multitude of options, this change of lifestyle felt all consuming. We became very creative with our limited choices and made it a challenge to see how many different options we could think of, to keep our meals interesting and not burn out in the process. I kept a menu journal so i could look back and remember these challenging days.</div>
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It certainly made grocery shopping easier and I quickly grew to love the “back to basics” philosophy. One of the facets that Jen shined a light on was the importance of eating whole foods instead of the processed foods we have become accustomed to. I have always been pretty concerned about what I eat, but this process has kindled a new desire to abstain from processed food whenever possible. I'm committed to making some healthier long-term changes as we go through this process. Thanks to the inspiration I acquired from Jen, I have taken up bread baking as part of my lifestyle. More about that on my next entry about Seven’s food month.</div>
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<br /></div>
</div>Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-36025044761541987562012-07-08T20:50:00.000-04:002012-08-06T00:16:23.923-04:00A Radical Experiment<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<span id="internal-source-marker_0.2987734915420929" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">My
daughter, Sarah, my son-in-law, Bob, and I are on a quest. Along with
Sarah’s small group Bible study gals and some of their supportive
husbands, we are all on a similar, but personal journey. This
challenging adventure is based on a book titled: Seven: An Experimental
Mutiny Against Excess. Written by pastor’s wife, Jen Hatmaker: it was a
social experiment, that for her, turned into a spiritual journey. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">When
Sarah started talking about the interesting project, my curiosity was
peaked and my desire to support her was born. Though this has the
potential for spiritual growth, I know it will be a very personal
pilgrimage and will be a unique journey for each of us. We may or may
not sense God in the midst of it. But it’s possible that we might
experience God on a deeper level. One thing is certain: it will be a
individual exploration as all of us are on a mission to find greater
simplicity on many levels.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Jen
Hatmaker was inspired to launch this experiment because the Lord had
been convicting her about some areas of excess in her life. This was in
addition to a ten year old boy’s comment that forever changed her life.
Upon entering her home he made reference to how rich she and her family
were. That one sentence changed her life. Although she never thought of
herself that way, she was soon to learn that compared to most of the
rest of the world... her family (and most of ours) were wealthy beyond
comprehension...relatively speaking. It stopped her world.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">God
inspired Jen to attack seven areas of excess in her life. As she
pursued God’s heart on this matter, she prayed for six months and asked
Him for a plan to show her His perspective. The areas of excess that she
pursued were: food, clothes, possessions, media, waste, spending and
stress.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
really don't’ know what to expect as we go through this seven month
long (plus) process. We will focus on one area of excess at a time for a
month. We have been encouraged to journal about our experiences along
the way. Then we will take a week off to process what we learned that
month and to prepare for the next months challenges.
</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Having
just completed the second month of our experiment, I am anxious to
share what it has been like and to try to verbalize my feelings about
how this process is affecting me. Seven is about perspective and I look
forward to the lessons that it has to offer. I have never done anything
quite so radical before. I am curious to see what kind of long-lasting
impact (if any) this experiment will have and if I will make any
significant changes because of it. Right now, I desire to simplify my
life, support my loved ones, and hopefully experience God in a unique
and fresh way. I hope you will find my journey interesting as I process
it. I already know is going to be good for me.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
haven’t yet read the entire book, as I don’t want to be overwhelmed by
all the issues we will be addressing. It is easier to just focus on the
challenges of the month we are working on. But I can tell you that Jen
Hatmaker’s book is a fun and delightful read as she shares honestly and
hilariously about her own experiences. Based on what I have read so far,
I highly recommend her book.</span>Renee' B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18298547598684930937noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697497308622882249.post-35638473746099189032012-06-29T13:31:00.000-04:002012-06-29T13:53:48.775-04:00A Creative Writing Project<br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
have been greatly inspired through the writers group at my church. At
the end of one of our April meetings, our art director, deAnn, asked us to
consider a homework assignment. She simply encouraged us to write
something about spring. I knew I wanted to write about the small
memorial garden I had planted for my husband, Buck. I was surprised by
what came forth that day as I sat before my computer. Here is what God
inspired me to write: something very different from my usual style and
totally out of my box. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Writing has become my passion and a very powerful healing tool in my life. Thank you for continuing to follow my journey after all this time. You have blessed me with your interest.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </span></div>
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<b><u><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">WAITING FOR SPRING SAPPHIRES</span></u></b></div>
<br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I’m
not really sure where or when my existence began. It’s a mystery it
seems, as I have lived all of my life in total darkness. Being a member
of the plant kingdom I have no intellect. But this much I know: my life
is very much about patience and waiting.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
recall clinging to my mother as I developed. My root system is entwined
with that of my mom’s and my body is firm, teardrop shaped and covered
with a papery, purple skin. Oh, and Mom likes to call me Sprout, much
to my embarrassment!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Hyacinth Bulb and Section." height="282" src="http://chestofbooks.com/reference/American-Cyclopaedia-5/images/Hyacinth-Bulb-and-Section.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="374" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #351c75;">MOTHER-SON PORTRAIT WHEN I WAS AN INFANT AND A CROSS SECTION OF MAMA WAITING PATIENTLY FOR SPRING.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo credit: http://chestofbooks.com/reference/American-Cyclopaedia-5/Hyacinth.html</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
ask a lot of questions, because it’s pretty boring down here. But Mom
always answers joyfully, because she has become very skilled in the art
of endurance and contentment. When I complain that I am cold, she
encourages me to snuggle closer. When I whine about my boredom, she
smiles and tells me stories about our ancestors. And she describes
places where they have shown up throughout the ages. Maybe one of these
days, I’ll become a history lover, or perhaps I’ll learn not to be a
whiner.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Whenever
my impatience is evident, my mom tells me to rest, because soon the
ground will warm and the worms will tickle and tease, as they too are
anxious to come out of hibernation. I’m not sure, since I’m a newbie
around here, but they might help me make my grand entrance, when the
time comes.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Recently,
Mama sensed my restlessness and decided that this was the day she would
share a favorite story. She began by explaining that several years ago
there was a woman who had planted a small garden in front of her new
home. This took place in the autumn and was to be a memorial garden in
memory of her husband. He had moved from her world into his eternal
home in heaven. The garden would be composed of three kinds of flowers:
daffodils, hyacinths and bleeding hearts. The gardener worked hard, and lovingly
planted the bulbs with high hopes as she remembered her best friend in this
sentimental way. The bleeding hearts would be planted when the warm
weather returned.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The
woman was heart-broken, and she wept as she prepared the garden bed to
receive Mama’s onion-like body and those of her lily cousins. Mama spoke
with compassion as she remembered that day, and added that God was
there too, collecting the gardener’s tears in His bottle, for they are
as precious as diamonds to Him. Then she told me about the brutal winter
that followed, and how she and her cousins waited patiently for the
warm season to arrive.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKkCGxKwQWUMqxErbUq_bl7YxfGPRi9_JT82ABDgg1gW93d8uw8Q2-1IeTJNMZPZbIOoMBMIIErlk9YKqr9ST600-uZOLNrgqDICqmvt_4z06tg87lDHW3TObd9hMxBqJLISQGZfukl57c/s1600/Hyacinth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKkCGxKwQWUMqxErbUq_bl7YxfGPRi9_JT82ABDgg1gW93d8uw8Q2-1IeTJNMZPZbIOoMBMIIErlk9YKqr9ST600-uZOLNrgqDICqmvt_4z06tg87lDHW3TObd9hMxBqJLISQGZfukl57c/s320/Hyacinth.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #351c75;">MAMA IN ALL HER SPRING GLORY</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo Credit: http://gardenofeaden.blogspot.com/2008/12/how-to-plant-and-grow-hyacinths.html</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Spring
finally dawned and Mama was so excited to stretch and make her way
through the soil. This was before my time, of course. According to my
mom, she and
her relatives put on quite a colorful show. She was greatly outnumbered
by the golden daffodil family. She could hardly wait to meet her
gardener again! Mama said the woman
cried once more, as she was greeted by her colorful new friends when
spring finally arrived. But this time, her sadness was mixed with great
joy after a long winter of anticipation!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“But I don’t understand, Mama. How can the gardener be joyful and sad at the</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">same
time?” “I know it’s hard to comprehend, Sprout, but humans are hard to
figure out. Just know this, my child. The gardener will always cherish
us for several reasons. You see, we are hyacinths and we have a
fragrance that is strong and heavenly. I’m told the origin of our name
comes from a gem, perhaps the sapphire, which is a deep blue precious
stone. We too, are a gorgeous royal blue color and our garden lady
friend has a passion for all things blue. And probably most importantly
to her, is the reality that hyacinths were her husbands favorite flower
and sapphire was his birthstone.”</span><br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo credit: http://img.ehowcdn.com...hyacinth bulbs</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“God
created us to bring color, fragrance, and beauty into a winter weary
world. He also made us to bring happiness and smiles to all who find us.
We are privileged to bring such joy and healing to a brokenhearted
lady, just by our presence. But no matter where we might bloom...even if
no one ever sees us, we will be bringing glory and delight to our
creator! Now in my humble opinion, that's a pretty special assignment
and well worth waiting for!” </span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Copyright 2012 by Renee' Barnhouse </span></i></span></div>
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