Tuesday, December 25, 2012

A Different Kind Of Christmas

This was a very different kind of Christmas this year; one I hope to never revisit. Mine was filled with sadness and  illness for the whole week leading up to and including Christmas Day. Acute Bronchitis  separated me from my loved ones, as I decided to spend Christmas alone for the first time in my life. Not sure if I was contagious and having zero energy, I felt it was in every ones best interest if I stayed home and rested. Last night's snow made it feel a little more Christmas-like today in my undecorated home. This was my third season not to put up a tree, because it is just too painful to go through the motions like I did that first Christmas without Buck.

I was very disappointed not to attend Christmas Eve service with my daughter and family at her church, as this is our new tradition since Buck went home to heaven. I always spend the night on Christmas Eve and wake with my grandchildren and get to witness all the excitement of Christmas morning with the little ones. I was saddened to miss all of those activities this year. I did my best to push away the self-pity and loneliness, but I have to confess their were moments that were really hard. I comforted myself with the hope that I would be better soon. I knew I needed to count my blessings to get through  this unwelcome, temporary detour. I will be looking forward to joining my family as soon as I am able. We will have to make some new memories in the week ahead.

I hope all of you were able to be surrounded by your loved ones and friends as you celebrated Christmas this year. This is a privilege I won't take for granted in the future. Christmas blessings to all of you and thank you for your continued support by stopping by today. God bless you, my friends!


  1. Hi Renee:) I found your blog through Ferree. I hope you're feeling better. The first Christmas is always the worse to get through. I agree that once we go through grief like we do, we never take good times for granted anymore. Wishing you many blessings for the coming New Year:) Cindy

    1. Hi Cindy. Thank you for visiting my blog and for leaving your kind comment. I was three days late in arriving at my daughter's home and just returned to my home after my five day stay. I'm feeling better, but not well. This illness is taking it's good old time to go away. I'm thankful to be on the mend. May your New Year be filled with good things and lovely memories.I also want to congratulate you on the publishing of your book! How exciting!
      Hugs, Renee'