The title of this post is not a question, but rather what I am making my focus, as yesterday was the three year anniversary of Buck's passing from this life into his new one. As I reflect, I am committed to thinking about what happened to him on that day, instead of dwelling on the loss and the heart break. He left a hole that only the Lord can fill and heal, but just the same, I am so happy for him and all the wonder of what he must be experiencing right now and forevermore.
I wish we had a clearer understanding of what heaven is like, but I rest in the fact that Buck is with Jesus now and there is no place he would rather be. I am also comforted by all that he is not having to face in order to get well, if he were still here. His health challenges would have been many and complicated and would have taken him down a road I know he would not have wanted to travel. Now he is pain free and happy as he enjoys his face to face relationship with the Lord. I am so thankful that God has enabled me to start letting go of the life I enjoyed with my husband, having done the hard work of facing my grief and the many aspects of what I lost when God called Buck home.
Thanks to the inspiration of one of my favorite devotionals: God Calling, I have adopted a new phrase and a new attitude. That all important phrase is: "All is well". A dearest friend of mine has been saying this for years, and I have always been blessed whenever she answered with this positive response. For me, "All is well" doesn't mean my heart isn't broken any more, but it means the Lord is healing me and I'm doing better. It means I still get teary often, but I smile more now too. It means I am intentional in looking for the joy in each new day. But I think the most important meaning is this: whatever is going on in my life is in God's hands, and that fact is growing stronger in my heart and mind as time goes on.
Some of the most important messages that God is communicating to me right now are the mind boggling facts that He is always with me, that I am His and that He loves me. These same precious messages are meant for all of us. I think that after all this time spent walking with Him, I am finally beginning to "get it"! Thank You, Lord, for not giving up on me all these years that I have been so thick headed. Thank You for the constant reminders as I spend my mornings with You, my favorite part of the day! Help me to encourage others to depend on You in all things, so that they too can enjoy the peace and comfort that only You can provide.
I want to leave you with yesterday's scripture that was on my perpetual calendar, marking the day God chose to welcome my sweetheart Home.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses... For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10