Sunday, April 22, 2012

What Happened To Buck

The title of this post is not a question, but rather what I am making my focus, as yesterday was the three year anniversary of Buck's passing from this life into his new one. As I reflect, I am committed to thinking about what happened to him on that day, instead of dwelling on the loss and the heart break. He left a hole that only the Lord can fill and heal, but just the same, I am so happy for him and all the wonder of what he must be experiencing right now and forevermore.

I wish we had a clearer understanding of what heaven is like, but I rest in the fact that Buck is with Jesus now and there is no place he would rather be. I am also comforted by all that he is not having to face in order to get well, if he were still here. His health challenges would have been many and complicated and would have taken him down a road I know he would not have wanted to travel. Now he is pain free and happy as he enjoys his face to face relationship with the Lord. I am so thankful that God has enabled me to start letting go of the life I enjoyed with my husband, having done the hard  work of facing my grief and the many aspects of what I lost when God called Buck home.

Thanks to the inspiration of one of my favorite devotionals: God Calling, I have adopted a new phrase and a new attitude. That all important phrase is: "All is well". A dearest friend of mine has been saying this for years, and I have always been blessed whenever she answered with this positive response. For me, "All is well" doesn't mean my heart isn't broken any more, but it means the Lord is healing me and I'm doing better. It means I still get teary often, but I smile more now too. It means I am intentional in looking for the joy in each new day. But I think the most important meaning is this: whatever is going on in my life is in God's hands, and that fact is growing stronger in my heart and mind as time goes on.

Some of the most important messages that God is communicating to me right now are the mind boggling facts that He is always with me, that I am His and that He loves me. These same  precious messages are meant for all of us. I think that after all this time spent walking with Him, I am finally beginning to "get it"! Thank You, Lord, for not giving up on me all these years that I have been so thick headed. Thank You for the constant reminders as I spend my mornings with You, my favorite part of the day! Help me to encourage others to depend on You in all things, so that they too can enjoy the peace and comfort that only You can provide.

I want to leave you with yesterday's scripture that was on my perpetual calendar, marking the day God chose to welcome my sweetheart Home.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses... For when I am weak, then I am strong.                                                                                                             2 Corinthians 12:9-10


  1. Renee, this is blessed and beautiful. It is joyful in the midst of all the deep waters you have passed through. "All is well." I love this and, with Jesus, it is so true! I need to remember this as the days of uncertainty go by in my own life. Because He is always sure and certain, no matter the circumstance. "All is well."
    Thank you so much for sharing.You have blessed me once again! ♥ T.

  2. Dear Renee', that was absolutely beautiful. Thank you very much for sharing your heart and your journey with us again. I am so grateful to God that He is bringing you through this. All is well. :) Love you much. Tess

  3. Renee, your "all is well" reminds me of what Bob always said to comfort me. He'd say "everything's gonna be okay". Oh, how much I miss hearing him say that and feeling the relief that would come to my heart because I trusted Bob's assurances.

  4. "All is well" reminds me of the hymn, It Is Well With My Soul. The story behind that hymn is tragic and beautiful and hopeful. The words are so deep and beautiful too. Just like this post.

    Thank you for your words here.

  5. Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. The reality of that scripture is seen so clearly in what you expressed so beautifully above. Love, Tara

  6. Wow, what a great verse. Thanks for sharing, Renee!

    1. Thank you to all of you, precious friends . Your beautiful words have blessed me!

  7. Just lovely Renee! A tribute to; God, Buck, and just cannot beat that!!! What is Heaven like? I am so excited to find out! Thanks for the focus! ♥ T.